BUTUAN CITY (MindaNews/24 March) — Sidewalk facing the Eiffel Tower.
KRIS: (surprised). Oh my gosh, Heart , is that you?
HEART: (same). Tita Kris, is that you, too?
( hey make beso-beso )
KRIS: Good to see you here,escaping the publicity meltdown. Teka (looking around suspiciously), are you with….?
HEART: No, he’s not here. He’s back home, in some forsaken city. You know, campaigning.
KRIS: Ay, di ka nag-ca-campaign with him? You know, sing, dance and kiss in public.
HEART: Tita Kris ha, hindi ako barat na artista. My parents don’t own a chain of restaurants for nothing.
KRIS: Speaking of parents, is it true iyong sinasabi nilang… you know…
HEART: Na 17 years old po ako?
KRIS: Hindi ah. Everybody knows na 28 years old ka na, that’s not the issue. Iyong he is an alcoholic?
HEART: Noo, ang mommy at daddy ko talaga. That is not true. Yes, he drinks but he gets a bit tipsy and can’t recognize anybody when he’s in someone else house. Iyon lang po, lalo na sa bahay namin with my parents around kasi he is very comfortable there.
KRIS: Ewan ko lang ha, pero according to our matatanda, there is a word for that, disrespectful.
HEART: No, he’s very loving, in fact sinabi niya he’s building me a house daw worth triple my talent fee. I am so excited kaya umalis na ako sa condo unit ko.
KRIS: Sabagay, close naman kami, gusto ko mga ka-dramahan niya.
HEART: (Irritated but remains sweet), By the way Tita, are you with Bimby?
KRIS: Yes, but he’s at the hotel. May long-distance call.
HEART: Oh my, hanggang dito tinawagan siya?
KRIS: Ayaw siyang tigilan.
HEART: Ang tatay nga naman.
KRIS: Anong tatay are you talking about? Si Tito Boy Abunda ang kausap niya. Tito Boy is managing him now.
HEART: You mean mag-aartista na si Bimby?
KRIS: Yes. As you know, nag-resign ako, kaya somebody has to make a living for the family.
HEART: Buti pa si Bimby, may flourishing career. Pero what are you going to do now Tita? Wala ka nang career.
KRIS: Well, I can always be a cabinet member. May three years pa naman si Kuya, di ba?
HEART: Oh my gosh, papaano na ang mga taong naiinis at naiingit sa iyo, baka mag-people power sila?
KRIS: Ito lang ang masasabi ko (like she is facing the camera): Mag-people power na sila sa Facebook at sa Twitter, hindi sila sisikat. Queen of all media ata ito.
HEART: (Noticing a lady crossing the street). Oh my gosh! look, di ba asawa iyon ng bise-presidente?
KRIS: Yes, it’s her.
HEART: Teka, di ba bawal sa kanya lumabas out of the country?
KRIS: (annoyed). Naku ha, what are people-in-power in power for? Come on, let’s go shopping na.
( And the two ladies disappeared in the crowd.)
(MindaViews is the opinion section of MindaNews. Ramon Jorge B. Sarabosing is a writer and artist based in Butuan City)